Hob: *updated* Pages 1, 2 and 3

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Dresden Codak
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Hob: *updated* Pages 1, 2 and 3

Post by Dresden Codak » Thu Feb 08, 2007 6:33 pm

Every comic I've ever done until this point has been a one-shot concept, so stepping into serialized territory is a little terrifying.

Let me know if what you think:

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Last edited by Dresden Codak on Mon Apr 02, 2007 11:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Hyptosis
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Post by Hyptosis » Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:18 pm

Outstanding and very pretty. ^_^
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Charlie the choo choo
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Post by Charlie the choo choo » Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:38 pm

Cool, I like it.
To view the last of me, a living frame
For one more picture! in a sheet of flame
I saw them and I knew them all. And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came."

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Og
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Post by Og » Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:28 am

I think it's a lovely piece, Dresden. Great colours, geez.

By way of critique, if you're looking for it, it took me two goes to understand what was happening. In the first panel, I mistook the tip of the wing coming out of the ground for a rock, and somehow, I missed the second panel inset altogether (the wing emerging from the ground). Given that, it gives the impression of the flying bot landing from off camera instead of emerging from the ground front and center. It's a subtle difference, but it goes to emphasis.

I don't know exactly why I missed this bit first go round, but I think I lost that second inset in all that great environmental detail. But it could just be me going dense. ;)

My other crit would be -- it may just be part of your style and not up for discussion -- but I'd love to see some variation in line weight. But that's just me. Moebius has gotten by with lines like this for decades, and it looks good, and I don't think anyone's complaining about it where he's concerned.

None of this of course changes that it's a real nice piece, though. Would love to see more. Is this for Flight 4?
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willmj
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Post by willmj » Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:58 am

I really like it and I like the colour... bring it on!

There must be something about robots and birds.
(Laputa, Robot and Sparrow (Flight 1 I think?) and Number 6).

I guess they (robots and birds) are the antithesis of each other - yet they both evoke awe and wonder.

There's a discussion in there... somewhere. :)

Swizec
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Post by Swizec » Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:20 am

Love it

*bookmarks*


Sorry I can't provide any real critique, I'm dazzled by the pretty

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Dresden Codak
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Post by Dresden Codak » Fri Feb 09, 2007 6:57 am

I really appreciate the feedback guys!
Og wrote:By way of critique, if you're looking for it, it took me two goes to understand what was happening. In the first panel, I mistook the tip of the wing coming out of the ground for a rock, and somehow, I missed the second panel inset altogether (the wing emerging from the ground).
Well, this Hob character is supposed to kind of look like he's made of stone, so I can understand the confusion there. However, having people miss the third panel with the 'wing' coming out is a failure for the layout on my part. I think it might have to do with the fact that the background of the inlaid panel has the same value and color as the grass directly behind it. I'll have to work on that.
My other crit would be -- it may just be part of your style and not up for discussion -- but I'd love to see some variation in line weight. But that's just me. Moebius has gotten by with lines like this for decades, and it looks good, and I don't think anyone's complaining about it where he's concerned.
Line weight has cursed me for a while. Moebius is probably the number 1 guy I go to when I'm ripping off styles, but that's still no excuse. It's something I really need to start remembering to do.
None of this of course changes that it's a real nice piece, though. Would love to see more. Is this for Flight 4?
Ha!
willymj wrote:I guess they (robots and birds) are the antithesis of each other - yet they both evoke awe and wonder.
I think visually, yeah, you can have some nice contrast. In my case you have this big clunky stone man with little wings that can't possibly work, while on the other side these tiny fragile creatures are flying without a second thought. There's going to be some symbolism tying back to that later in the story, actually.

Also note Hob here isn't technically a robot, though I guess he might as well be one!
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mr cow
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Post by mr cow » Fri Feb 09, 2007 7:51 am

looks good so far!
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MG
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Post by MG » Tue Feb 13, 2007 7:12 pm

Ha Ha! "Pom"!

This is a fun piece! I personally didn't have trouble with the third panel, but I agree that making it contrast a bit with the rest would make it more readable. Also, I kind of like how you don't really know what's going on at the beginning; it grabs your attention. It reminds me of "The Count of Monte Cristo" movie where the priest pops out of the tunnel and freaks out Edmund.

Can't wait to see more!

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TmDurn7
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Post by TmDurn7 » Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:44 pm

i kinda think i'm in love

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Muffin
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Post by Muffin » Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:22 am

seems people have a love for robots and birds. I gotta say I really like this too. :)
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Dresden Codak
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Post by Dresden Codak » Fri Feb 23, 2007 2:03 am

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I've tried to apply some of it in the next page, which I've just added to the thread.
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MG
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Post by MG » Fri Feb 23, 2007 3:48 pm

I really like the second page! Your linework and coloring is better in the second one, though the yellow around the house in panel 7 is a bit odd - it looks like it's on fire.

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Og
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Post by Og » Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:20 pm

Wow. What an improvement.

I want to see more of that girl. Veeeeeery apealing.

Keep it up, Dresden. I want to see MORE!!!! :P
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meesimo
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Robots and birds indeed

Post by meesimo » Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:27 pm

Nice looking story! I look forward to seeing it develop/
Cheers
"What side of the tracks are you on? Both because the world is...round." -GT

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