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Panel One CHERNOSE and RICHARD are sat at the table in a wine bar. They are drinking red wine and appear to have finished a bottle already. RICHARD: I don’t mind telling you, Chernose. I’m pretty terrified right now. CHERNOSE: **** are you scared of, man? We’re just two single gentlemen out to meet some fly young ladies. Then make sex with them. Panel Two RICHARD: Yeah, exactly. I’ve not done that for a while. CHERNOSE: Met ladies? RICHARD: Yeah. Or had sex with them. CHERNOSE: How long? Months? Years? RICHARD: Decade? Panel Three CHERNOSE has stood up and is shouting. People are looking round. CHERNOSE: **** OFF! You haven’t had sex for ten years? **** off! That’s like... You haven’t had sex since before I started! And I’ve had a lot! I’ve had your share, man! ****! Panel Four CHERNOSE sits down, conversation continues as if this didn’t occur but some women are now staring at Richard. CHERNOSE: So when did Tiny Richard’s Mum leave you? RICHARD: Amanda? She left about nine years ago with a guy named Craig to live in Spain where he sells villas. Panel Five CHERNOSE is back up. CHERNOSE: Oh ****! So you like ****ed them up law courts style on some Fathers for justice type shit, right? Like “You take the car, bitch, but the kid stays with me!” RICHARD: She didn’t steal my car. Where have you got the car stealing thing from? Panel Six CHERNOSE sits down once again. CHERNOSE: **** do you drive that beat up piece of shit then? RICHARD: It’s a better car than your bus pass is. CHERNOSE: **** you, man. I’m taking lessons and shit. It’s the gears- I don’t get them.
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