24 hour comic

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yuria
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24 hour comic

Post by yuria » Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:57 am

Ok, so this is my first attempt at creating a 24 hour comic. It's officially called a failure, cause it's only 17 pages long, but I felt like I just had nothing more to say in that particular story. It's about a boy and his grandfather, it's very simple and a bit sentimental, but somehow I like how it came out. I'd love to know what you guys think. C&C welcome.

And here's the comic: The Story of my Grandfather

Rad Sechrist
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re

Post by Rad Sechrist » Mon Sep 13, 2004 10:54 am

Very impressive. You work fast!

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Phil
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Post by Phil » Mon Sep 13, 2004 11:01 am

Very nice. Lovely storytelling. Some mistakes in the English, but good writing anyway. Very sensitive.
:D

da peacekeeper
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Post by da peacekeeper » Mon Sep 13, 2004 11:30 am

I liked it. Good emotions with the story.

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Nofret
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Post by Nofret » Mon Sep 13, 2004 12:26 pm

Nice! One of the very good 24 hour comics I've seen. Well told and nice drawings too. Didn't looked rushed for 17 pages in 24 hours. Good work!

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Derek
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Post by Derek » Mon Sep 13, 2004 12:29 pm

*sniff*

i liked it.

(i really am almost crying. that was good.)

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yuria
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Post by yuria » Mon Sep 13, 2004 2:18 pm

Thanks everyone :)
Phil wrote:Very nice. Lovely storytelling. Some mistakes in the English, but good writing anyway. Very sensitive.
:D


I've got sometimes problems with expressing my thoughts in English (it's not my native language). I've asked number of people to tell me about any mistakes they would find in my comic, but I never had this kind of feedback from them. Still I somehow sensed that not everything is right in there. I'm really glad that you pointed out that particular issue. I'd really appreciate if anyone wanted to show me the bad sentences and how to fix them. I'm still learning and I don't want to make those mistakes again.

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Derek
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Post by Derek » Mon Sep 13, 2004 2:29 pm

Someone is...asking me to be a grammar nazi?

I would, but I'm watching E! True Hollywood Story: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. A little later.

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Justin
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Post by Justin » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:24 pm

aw geez :cry: nicely done yuria.
-Justin
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Mothos
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Post by Mothos » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:48 pm

Actually, your grammar is pretty good. Better than many who speak English as their native tongue! :D

On page 7: "He always managed to win when my father" This is either an incomplete sentance or should be "against my father."

Nice website too.

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kiati2000
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Post by kiati2000 » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:48 pm

nice storytelling. especially liked your panel choices after the grandfather dies. great work for a 24 hour comic.
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Justin
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Post by Justin » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:54 pm

Mothos wrote:Actually, your grammar is pretty good. Better than many who speak English as their native tongue! :D

On page 7: "He always managed to win when my father" This is either an incomplete sentance or should be "against my father."

Nice website too.
it actually reads "when i think about it now he always managed to win when he was playing cards with my father." having that space where the fathers head is does make it somewhat confusing to read tho.
-Justin
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Mothos
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Post by Mothos » Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:03 pm

Ooohhhhhhh.... :oops: My bad, please disregard my grammar correction.

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Derek
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Post by Derek » Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:10 am

After I read this, I forgot it was a 24 hour comic at all.

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bluebottle
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Post by bluebottle » Tue Sep 14, 2004 12:32 am

really nice story. like it a lot.

i always get comapred to one of my grandfathers by people who know him, take it as a great compliment :D
'something really witty/funny or profound here!'
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