Foooossssh

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Clank
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Foooossssh

Post by Clank » Tue Jun 01, 2004 8:17 pm

This is the first comic page I've ever finished. I randomly thought it up, and I know the idea is bad and stupid. I just wanted to try to make a comic. So I DID! The first panel says "Obviously Tokyo..."

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Dek
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Post by Dek » Tue Jun 01, 2004 8:35 pm

OMG Ever see any japenese B-grade horror flicks? BEST THINGS EVER. That is like all of them...it's beautiful...

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ChadTHX1138
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Post by ChadTHX1138 » Wed Jun 02, 2004 8:15 am

Keep it up Clanker youre on a roll...
Chad Townsend
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Phil
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Post by Phil » Wed Jun 02, 2004 10:44 am

Good start! I'm not sure if you want this to be humorous, but it could make a funny parody of destructive monster movies. :) The dry humor could work for you.

If, on the other hand, you want it to be serious stuff, keep working it. The drawings will have to get more complete, and we'll need to see a more involved progression, showing character development and stuff.

As it is, that last panel with the captions brought a smile to my face... 8)

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Kazu
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Post by Kazu » Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:07 am

Hehe. I love that monster! Clank, your creatures are so cool! :D
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marco
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Post by marco » Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:14 am

i love the general's stoic expression, even as the tears start running down his face. nice work.

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Jason C-M
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Post by Jason C-M » Wed Jun 02, 2004 2:42 pm

I really like the monster looking at the missle it's holding in its tentacles.
Fun for Brains and Eyeballs!
with Drawing a Blank: News from the Drafting Table
http://www.cheeseman-meyer.com

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Clank
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Post by Clank » Wed Jun 02, 2004 5:05 pm

Thanks, you guys! Phil, I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to be serious. I like dry humor. Kazu, thanks to you, too. I do NOT like my monsters. Ha. I'm glad someone does.

At the moment I'm working on a second page just for fun. I should be done with it very, very soon and have it posted tonight. Whether you guys like it or not. Yes.

Thanks again! :D

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RobotHero
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Post by RobotHero » Wed Jun 02, 2004 6:54 pm

I think there's some problems with panel flow. The gutter between the finger pushing the button and the missile launching is too thin. If you make that wider, and remove the lines connecting the two panels together, that will clear up that transition a little.

Also, the missile is going straight up, and the very next pane it is in the monster's grasp. There's too much happening between panels, there. You could try changing the launch panel so the missile curves to the left, which would better show where it is going.

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Clank
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Post by Clank » Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:26 pm

Thanks, RobotHero, those suggestions are very helpful. I know there are probably a TON of errors in all the comics that I'm making, but I'm just doing them for fun, not really to be good or anything, just so you guys know. In case you thought I was serious about them... Well, here's the next page. I don't like it as much. At all.

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Roseparchment
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Post by Roseparchment » Thu Jun 03, 2004 7:42 pm

Ninja!
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hahahaha michael!

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