Experiment 9

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Notches
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Experiment 9

Post by Notches » Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:48 pm

Hey all,this is my noobish attempt at making a comic.There is currently only one page though.Critics are welcome,especially on the story-telling,lighting and shadows of the drawings.

Also,do you think that i should include a narration?I'm not sure if the viewers can understand it.Thanks for looking!

Image

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Hyperion
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Post by Hyperion » Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:18 am

Cool illustrations, very clean artwork. I don't get what story your trying to tell other than a guy walking around writing an email address on random things. So it makes for a great beginning, but you story needs a middle and an end. As far as narratives go you seem to be doing just fine without one so far (a written one in any case you do have a visual narrative here) but as I said the story simply seems incomplete.
really really witty quote

jess_smiley
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Post by jess_smiley » Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:20 am

I have a feeling something bad's gonna happen...

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Hyperion
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Post by Hyperion » Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:42 am

yeah, I certainly sense something ominous on the horizon.
really really witty quote

Notches
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Post by Notches » Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:43 pm

Yes,it is only the beginning now and that's as far as the story goes,some weird guy scrawling an address everywhere.I'll post the next page here when i get down to do it.I think that the last box is misleading though,because the...Erm,perverted looking smile must be suggesting that he is up to no good.I'm glad that you can catch what's going on.Many thanks for the feedback! =D

slavidzee
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Post by slavidzee » Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:51 am

i like this a lot, and to me, the "story" can end here, as complete work of art.

The questions that it invokes without the "satisfying reveal" make it worthwhile.
You are what you do repeatedly

Notches
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Post by Notches » Sat Jul 04, 2009 8:11 pm

Thank you!I'm glad that's how you see it. =)

Notches
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Re: Experiment 9

Post by Notches » Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:49 pm

Image

I have inexhaustible teenage angst.
.
School assignment.We need to use 1 to 7 panels to illustrate our interpretation of Hemmingway's shortest story in the world: "For sale: Baby shoes,never worn." =D

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