Pirates?

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celeste
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Pirates?

Post by celeste » Sun Feb 22, 2009 3:43 am

I thought it'd be fun to share the project I've been working on lately. I'd reallllly like some feedback on this, too. Any suggestions? The biggest problem I've been having is that I never remember to leave room for word balloons when I'm drawing.

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dark77778
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Post by dark77778 » Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:11 am

I like where it's going, it's very fun to read and the pictures and dialogue is nice. Just...please change the orientation of the bubble on page 2 in panel 3 which leaks into panel 1. It disorients the reading flow. I know you were saying that you were having trouble positioning that panel's bubble, but the way that it's currently reading is "Avoid whatever lives in that cave and...WHAT?! How can you not be interested in this?" It's really frustrating to the reader, and not in a Jimmy Corrigan sort of way.

Maybe try moving up the bubble in panel 2 higher into panel 1 and have the bubble in panel 3 slide along his arm to cover the right part of the map, or make panel 2 a micropanel [I'm totally making that name up, I don't know what it's called] within panel 1.
I'm my own breed of eccentric.

dawsonsmythe
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Post by dawsonsmythe » Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:12 pm

Oh i really like it, both in design, story and colors!
I think you really need to consider word balloons as another essential graphical element to your scene, as opposed to "leaving room" for them. They should be just as important as any other element visually

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celeste
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Post by celeste » Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:20 pm

Thanks, that's exactly the type of critique I need. I'll fix panel three right now. It was really bugging me, but I wasn't sure about how to fix it.

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dark77778
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Post by dark77778 » Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:28 am

dawsonsmythe wrote:I think you really need to consider word balloons as another essential graphical element to your scene, as opposed to "leaving room" for them. They should be just as important as any other element visually
Exactly. If you're comfortable with doing this celeste, I highly recommend it.
I'm my own breed of eccentric.

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