Caged (Last Installment)

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arkadia
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Caged (Last Installment)

Post by arkadia » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:38 pm

I've lurked around here for quite sometime, but have never had the courage to post anything up here since this forum bursts with talent. However, I managed to make a mini for Comic-con and people seemed to enjoy it, so I thought I could throw it up here in case people were interested.

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Thanks for taking a look! I'll update this thread with more pages this week.
Last edited by arkadia on Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:55 am, edited 4 times in total.

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inverce
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Post by inverce » Mon Jul 28, 2008 1:58 pm

I really like this- especially the little blue bird. It leaves me wanting more.

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Post by William Ward » Mon Jul 28, 2008 7:03 pm

An impressive first post.

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arkadia
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Post by arkadia » Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:10 am

Thanks for the comments! Here are the next three pages:

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arkadia
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Post by arkadia » Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:57 am

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arkadia
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Post by arkadia » Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:57 am

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arkadia
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Post by arkadia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:55 am

Here's the last installation of this comic. There are probably somethings I will change when I do a second printing for Ape, but I felt it was pretty sucessful as my first mini. If you have any comments or critiques, I'd love to hear them. I hoped you enjoyed reading it!

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Mathias
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Post by Mathias » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:31 am

I think that was really great! I like the sort of minimalistic approach aswell. As a critiqe, I had abit of trouble following page 3 and 4 initially and I think the placement of the smaller rows over the big page that confuses me. Although I'm not an avid comic reader so It might be my inexperience that's talking.

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Sskessa
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Post by Sskessa » Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:20 pm

I think overall, this is a very successful piece. It has all the basic elements of a story: an unstable situation in the beginning, some drama in the middle, and a resolution at the end. I like how you rarely use lines to separate the panels, it makes the story feel open and airy, just like the main character must feel as she steps out of her cage for the first time.
I do have suggestion. On page 11 where she encounters the boy, he's opening his cage for her with a sinister expression, and on the panel right before that, she already seems to have made up her mind because she seems to be annoyed that she ran into him. I feel like it could be more dramatic if the boy looked like he had good intentions, and if she were to consider his unspoken proposition. Then the audience could wonder, "Did she do the right thing? He seemed nice, maybe she would've liked it in his cage!" We'll find out in the end that she made the right choice, so in the middle of the story you have a lot of freedom to make the audience worry about it. Does that make any sense?
Anyway, great work. I love your minimal style. Hope you have another story soon!
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arkadia
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Post by arkadia » Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:00 pm

Sskessa - Yeah, I think you've hit it on the head for me. That is one area of the story I plan on changing when I do the second run of it. I want it to seem more inviting and perhaps have a greater build up of more cages with more guys. That's a great crit.

Mathias - Are you referring to the cage like lines? At least that's what it's supposed to be. I'll probably clean that up a bit more on the second go and also make it not as clean, more hand drawn.

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Post by Mathias » Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:39 pm

Yeah, it was mainly the cage like lines that made things confusing, aswell as the combination of the two squares with the bird with no real referencepoints that made it a hard time for me to decide what to make out of page 3. However the storytelling became clear when I continued down.

I think my problem is more of a page layout and how I read it problem rather than with the actual artwork, wich I like it pretty much as it is now.

I do have to say that I agree with Sskessa aswell. If you had made the guy look "nicer" and more alluring and not like he's full of mischef I think it would really enhance the whole trapped in a cage/relationship theme.

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