Short Story Draft

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TomM
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:16 am

Short Story Draft

Post by TomM » Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:40 am

Hi everyone!

This is a comic I have been working on for my illustration course at university. Some of the artwork needs touching up and I intend to colour it or at least add tone (not sure yet). The text is rough too, I might have to type it as my hand writing is pretty bad.
Please let me know what you think,I just wanted to get some constructive crit before I finish it up.

thanks, Tom



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andrew fulton
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Location: melbourne, australia
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Post by andrew fulton » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:26 pm

wow. that guy sure is freaking out.

I really like this, the linework is really expressive, the compositions and layouts are almost always interesting. I really like the sequence after "Everything around me is more vibrant..." perhaps because it's a bit more grounded in realness while still being a little off - some of the more abstract metaphysical stuff doesn't do it for me as much. ( it's all done well, but just not as interesting to me personally).
I wouldn't worry all that much about the lettering, I think it fits in very nicely with the overall tone and style. You could probably retouch it a little for legibility, but having some kind of typeset lettering would just suck all the life out of it I think.
I would be wary also of applying colour and/or tone, it works really well for me just in black and white. Maybe adding a second colour or something in an expressionistic way would work okay, but I certainly wouldn't go for naturalistic colouring, again that would just suck the life out of it. Maybe look at something like Dash Shaw's Bodyworld- there are some sequences in there that use non-natural and spot colours to great effect.

Anyhow, great job Tom.

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TomM
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:16 am

Post by TomM » Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:05 am

Thanks very much for the comments Andrew. I really liked the the limited colours and changes in pallet in Bodyworld. I'm not great with colour but I might have a go at something simple.

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