Urban Tale

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maple
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Urban Tale

Post by maple » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:32 pm

've been in the design industry since graduation and am hoping to explore the comic world. Here's my narration study -- an attempt to tell a story/happening in a minimalistic form. :-)

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geoff_sebesta
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Post by geoff_sebesta » Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:03 am

I like this -- good story.

His pipestem arms in the first and last panel don't work for me. maybe if you fill in the arm holes...

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:09 pm

geoff_sebesta wrote:His pipestem arms in the first and last panel don't work for me. maybe if you fill in the arm holes...
Yeah? I think I like those just fine. I find the super-strong shadow on the guys head a little distracting, though.

I think it's a good, simple little story maple. The look on the chubby guys face in the last panel caps it off nicely. This kind of typography/design elements as physical-feature-in-the-world/meta gag can be really dumb, but I think you have done well with it.

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Morin
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Post by Morin » Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:48 pm

I really enjoyed the story ! Nice !
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geoff_sebesta
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Post by geoff_sebesta » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:27 pm

andrew fulton wrote:
geoff_sebesta wrote:His pipestem arms in the first and last panel don't work for me. maybe if you fill in the arm holes...
Yeah? I think I like those just fine. I find the super-strong shadow on the guys head a little distracting, though.
It's the contrast that bothers me, On the face, he's cartooning the light. On the arm, he's cartooning the form. Either is fine. I prefer light, but that's just me. It's just when you're doing both at the same time that the eye gets confused...

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Jeff Chapman
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Post by Jeff Chapman » Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:45 pm

I like the simplicity of this. It feels slightly haunting and uncanny. I'd love to see more.

Jeff

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:27 am

geoff_sebesta wrote: On the face, he's cartooning the light. On the arm, he's cartooning the form. Either is fine. I prefer light, but that's just me. It's just when you're doing both at the same time that the eye gets confused...
I can't say I have ever really thought of 'cartooning the light' as a Thing before. Is it just about exaggerated shadows?

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