"Spelunked"

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Seth Wolfshorndl
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"Spelunked"

Post by Seth Wolfshorndl » Sun Jan 20, 2008 12:12 am

Here's a one-pager I just finished...

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This turned out to be a little more complicated of a storytelling challenge than I initially thought, with the direction changes and all. Do you think it works? If not, what could have made it easier to read?

Thanks for any feedback!

-Seth
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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Sun Jan 20, 2008 2:31 am

Initially I wanted to read the speech balloons following the direction of the tunnel, so I was momentarily confused at the earthworm - I read dudley's balloon first. I kind of adjusted but there is that confusion between the rtl and ltr reading, when your eye is moving rtl and comes across the characters, it kind of has to jump over to the other side and read back the other way. Not sure how you would get rid of that. It's not as noticable on the 'passing through the narrows' > 'how vast...', maybe because it maintains a more natural top-to-bottom reading order as well? I don't know.

Also, i had a bit of dissonance where dudley dug the tunnel to get away from the snake. It's almost like the tunnel shouldn't be dug at all in the first 'panel', but that's an even thornier problem that I have no idea how to solve without introducing panel borders. Anyone else got a clue there?

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MG
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Post by MG » Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:19 pm

Fun! I had a few issues, though. My eye also wanted to follow the tunnel curves and subsequent character paths the whole time, so I definately think the speech balloons should have been in sync with that order; so the earthworm and vast cavern comments should have been switched to maintain that momentum.

Also, I think maybe you should have shown the actual digging of the tunnel to clarify that a little better. Anyway, that's my thinking, for all it's worth. Neat idea, though.

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Seth Wolfshorndl
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Post by Seth Wolfshorndl » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:28 pm

Thanks for the input, guys. I think the best solution would have been to stack the word balloons vertically, somehow so that reading direction wasn't such a problem.

Ah well, it was a fun challenge, anyway.


-Seth
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