One snowy day...

[Rocky]

I'm taking a comicbook storytelling class and we had to incorporate an element of weather into our pages.

(-:

[Scott Hallett]

Not a bad start. I would say that one thing that stands out is the uniformity of the snowflakes. They are all the same size and roughly the same distance apart. Varying this up a bit might give you more depth, and make things a little more realistic. There's also no sense of movement in the snow. You might want to consider implying some wind movement.

[thedeafguy]

I'd have to say, that you have some great potential here. Your pencils are great, angles and environmental shots, nicely done. It's your inking, that throws me off. I think that this would be a stronger and more effective comic if you make the inks a bit graphic looking, stronger blacks...lay off the hatching...cross-hatching...and light marks...

*cross-hatching works only if it's accompanying strong blacks or at least some contrast in black and white. by itself, it makes the page look weak.*

so, maybe if you went back in, and worked on it bit more, then I'd be proud to look at it again!

otherwise, decent work

[Scott Hallett]

Normally I would agree with the point made about cross-hatching, that is until I saw what JP Ahonen was able to do with a similar style of cross hatching once color was applied. See here: http://www.flightcomics.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10642. I would agree that as a finished piece, it might need some work, but with some inventive color it could work.

[andrew fulton]

It's looking pretty good - I like the way you used the inset panels in the second row there, it works well. I definately agree with Scott about the snowflakes. I can imagine the pain it would be to go and do a million more of those things, but it would really help the atmosphere.
I am really not sure about the row in the middle there with the guys ear and nose. I don't quite get what the enormous black is signifying, and the way the gutter has kind of stretched out his face is a little bit awkward, I think? I am guessing you were trying to isolate out his senses, or something, yeah? I'm trying to think of a different way of doing that but I can't. Oh well.

As far as the cross hatching goes, I think it does kind of work in this case, adding too many strong blacks might hurt the snowstorm/whiteout kind of feel. It is a little awkward as it is, but that something that only comes with heaps of practice I guess.

Anyhow, nicely done.

[andrewwales]

I especially like the vantage point of panel one. I agree with the other "flake comments", but I hope to see more of your work. You've definitely got potential as a storyteller.

[andrew fulton]

I especially like the vantage point of panel one.

Yeah, I dug that too - thought it was a nicely cinematic way to start - I could imagine this great big crane move or something drifting down with the snow.

[Rocky]

Thanks for the feedback guys - I'm starting to get the hang of inking. Color is definitely a different matter. I'll post some more stuff from the class. It's definitely my favorite!