"Flight of Dreams" by Tyler Niccum

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thedeafguy
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"Flight of Dreams" by Tyler Niccum

Post by thedeafguy » Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:14 pm

I figured...it's coming out soon, hopefully, so I might as well start seeing what people think. cheers and let the debate begin.

"Flight of Dreams"

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Tmara
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Post by Tmara » Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:36 am

Sad... but really beautifully done.

What I noticed is that you only focus on the man in the beginning of the story. A close-up of the face, looking closed and forboding. He opens up when he sees some birds, but is angry when they fly away. After that he starts his ascend and you change your focus to the surroundings. You put in lots of details and interesting viewpoints. It makes me feel as if the man is no longer important, or at least no longer in control. No sign of doubt, or any feeling at all. Until when he stands on the roof and he spreads his arms. If he had smiled I would have though he wanted to fly, but his face is still neutral. So I don't know what he is thinking, maybe saying hello and goodbye? The only sign of doubt I see is when he looks down, just before he steps off. But it could also just be resignation.

Your last panel is really dramatic. We don't see him fall, or fallen, but we know he just jumped of that building... that, or he changed into a bird and flew off with the flock... But that's not the first thought.

Very well done!

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thedeafguy
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Post by thedeafguy » Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:36 am

well done, well done. Most people don't see what I'm trying to do here, and when they do, it's great.

basically, what I wanted to do was, show that, you can make a choice as a reader. "Does he jump off, or does he fly away"? You make that choice, thus saying if he jumped off, then you're a pessimistic. If you thought he flew away with the birds then you are an optimistic. It can go either way.

btw, thanks for noticing how I did the storytelling...starting off with him, then pulling out...I did that intentionally, and I'm glad you saw that.

cheers.

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:18 pm

this is really great. It's something that could have very easily been overly melodramatic, but you have avoided that nicely. And you sure can draw.

Some of the panel transitions seemed a little uncomfortable (for want of a better word), like the top row on the second page, where the camera zooms in to the guy's head and then you pop back out again. I am guessing you were going for a POV shot or something - to show what he was looking at? Maybe it would be smoother to leave out the head entirely and just show the view. Or maybe that's not what you were going for at all.

You saw that you wanted to show that we 'make a choice' as a reader - from the way that you build this up, I am not sure that there is really much of a choice for us to make at all, is there? You may not actually show it, but you are guiding us fairly forcefully in a particular direction, no?

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thedeafguy
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Post by thedeafguy » Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:58 pm

eh, I guess that's a reasonable thought, regarding the direction I'm leading you...

as for the second page, top panel, I agree...it did seem awkward. Something I'll correct when I get the chance.

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andrewwales
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Post by andrewwales » Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:25 pm

Wah! I thought I was an optimist.

Very cool -- I like the idea. :o

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pH
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Post by pH » Sat Nov 10, 2007 1:38 pm

I dig it! Very nice.
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kross29
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Post by kross29 » Mon Nov 12, 2007 9:35 am

my favorite comic of yours. good stuff man. i like where your style is going.

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thedeafguy
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Post by thedeafguy » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:27 am

too bad the teachers are SCAD didn't thinks so too...Vanessa told me right after they announced the winner to the anthology, that I was second place...that the teachers couldn't decide between mine and that other guys, lol.

I told her, "I did NOT need to know that...thanks, now I shall go to a bar and have a drink....13 grand...dammit."

oh well, whatcha gonna do, huh?

maybe I'll make a sequel, where he lands on top of Norris Hall and pisses on it.

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andrewwales
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Post by andrewwales » Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:46 pm

At least you know they thought it was good. It's no consolation, I know.

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Cal
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Post by Cal » Tue Nov 20, 2007 5:12 pm

Wow, i knew from the start that that was coming. I like it, its pretty good.:)

marco
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Post by marco » Wed Nov 21, 2007 9:46 am

great work!!
marco-magallanes.blogspot.com/

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Tmara
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Post by Tmara » Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:07 am

Too bad you didn't win, but Andrew is right, at least you know they thought it was good! Man, second place is still impressive. So don't feel too sad.

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