Octopus Attack

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andrewwales
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Post by andrewwales » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:44 am

What he said!

Great use of blacks throughout! Maybe the monkey could've used some grey tones or texture or something.

Really cool comic. You don't often see two-pagers with any kind of payoff out there, other than this site (that I know of).

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JakeKalsbeek
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Post by JakeKalsbeek » Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:32 pm

Hey thanks for the feed back guys. I tried to push the lines of action this time like Mr. Fulton suggested about my last one. Although now that I look at the latest one I think I could still pushed the lines of action even further. If anyone else has any new thoughts on how to improve any of these strips don't hesitate to critique a way. I'm always looking to learn.

I'm already working on the next one. Hopefully it will be done in about a week.

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andrewwales
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Post by andrewwales » Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:34 pm

I'm really glad I found this site for the feedback, advice and camaraderie I've found here.

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:28 am

Hey Jake,
this one looks great, i really like it. The panel where he gets wiped out on the log is my favourite, you can really feel him slam into it.
Made me laugh, too.

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JakeKalsbeek
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Post by JakeKalsbeek » Mon Dec 31, 2007 5:30 pm

I just finished my latest sequential exercise. This time I did a story with dialogue. I'm using a free font from http://www.blambot.com called web letterer BB. I'm still playing with my inking technique and I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable with the whole process. For this comic I used a Faber-Castell Pitt brush pen, which is a big improvement over the Micron brush pen I was using before. I'd love to use a real brush but my hand is way too shaky. Let me know what you think. Happy New Year!

Image

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rohwer
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Post by rohwer » Mon Dec 31, 2007 6:34 pm

I agree, great ending.

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Tue Jan 01, 2008 4:20 pm

Ha - I like that zap panel, the xray worlks great. You could probably work a little more on the hatching there, and in the last panel, it seems a little too rushed but that's a fairly small thing.
There's some great expressivness in the monster, you could maybe push that even more in the eyes/eyebrows without it looking too silly. Are those Shrek ears?
I would be interested to hear what people thing about the way you have used vastly different line weights on the two characters. I can see that if you had done the human with the same thickness you would have lost all the detail, but he almost seems too weak in comparison to the great big chunky line of the monster. Maybe that works a a contrast, though, I'm not sure. Perhaps if you just varied the lineweights a little more in the human character they would fit together a little better?
I dig the robot too - he almost seems to scowl in the second panel.

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